rude NYC just rude.

I spend so much time telling people that we arent rude, we are nice, polite a bit in our own worlds as an attempt to maintain some sort of personal space boundary and then you have to go and be all rude. 

damn. 

I havent taken the subway in a while Im on crutches - established previously, 

a  full car.

minimum 7 men ages 20 - 40 looking in perfectly good health with optimum subway seating. 

i look around they all turn their heads in the 'pretending not to notice that someone could use the seat they really dont want to give up cause they had a long day' kind of way. 

i am miffed. however i feel like 'fuck you, assholes! if i fall it'll be on you' -i mean that literally not in a karma kind of way i mean i will land on you, hard- and i grab a bar and try to situate myself so i wont. 

A woman in her fifties (approx) overweight with a cane leans forward and says "honey would you like a seat?" as she starts to get up, I quickly told her no absolutely not. and thanked her profulsely for being so considerate but she needed the seat as much (probably more) than i did.

At which point finally as we are no moving (of course, just to make it easier)some guy lets out a sigh! and stands up in a i cant believe i feel like i have to do this kind of way and motions me to the seat i thank him he doesnt even look at me just looks away irritated. fuck you. and thanks for the seat, you should have offered before guilt made you. 

I cant tell you how many times i have been the one to offer my seat to an older or pregnant person or someone who just looked like they might need it more than me. I have been offered seating once - i swore never to wear an empire waist again cause i know damn well he thought i was pregnant and he was doing a good deed. i didnt want to break it to him so i just sat down and tried to look motherly.